For the next month I am focusing intensely on my mental health and trying to be the best mom I can be. It’s a funny thing to have so much joy in front of me, yet still feel overwhelmed, sad, exhausted and like I have nothing to live for.
This is my first attempt at reviving an old piece of furniture, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to try… There are a few things I learned in the process that I will do differently next time, but I’m pretty proud of how it turned out, flaws and all… I turned this free, well loved highchair into something unique and fun for Aurora…
Working on the highchair is extra special to me because it gave me an outlet to focus on something other than the Postpartum Depression, Anxiety and myriad of life stresses I’ve been having a very difficult time coping with. This project helped motivate me to get off the couch, walk outside and create something for my baby girl. Spending my days sleeping with the curtains closed for the majority of the day is not how I want to live.
Social media for me consists primarily of posting the highlight reel of what’s actually happening, those beautiful moments are still real, but so is the darkness within me right now. I am choosing to share this because I know there are others like me who may feel just as alone as I do (despite having a supportive husband, friends and family).
The heavy weight I feel in my heart is not just for me but it’s given me a new window of compassion for my own mother and what I witnessed when she struggled with Postpartum Depression after my sister was born. Only now do I fully grasp what she may have been fighting inside.
I truly hope to get past this sooner than later and to finally be able to fully experience the love and joy I deserve.